How do you find people to have very kinky fucked up sex with? Also as a guy I am not sexually confident enough to be rough with a girl cuz I don’t last long and I don’t think I ever made a girl cum. I wanna learn but idk.

luna-disapproves:

Thanks for asking! I spent years trying to figure this out myself, and I even live in a kink friendly city! It can definitely be a daunting task to meet like minded kink people. Let my knowledge fill you:

First off, if you don’t already have a FetLife account I recommend getting one; it’s not always the easiest to navigate, but it’ll help you meet other kinksters from all over the place. Don’t start with a focus on meeting someone specifically to have kinky sex with, start by trying to build friendships and get a little more comfortable and confident interacting with people on a sexual topic without having to do it in a sexual way. Confidence and the ability to listen and connect with other people are super important. Make sure your FetLife profile isn’t just dick pics and ‘I’m a dom looking for sub for kinky sex.“ Doms have thoughts and feelings too, so be sure to share yours.

Next, you will meet a lot of people that it doesn’t work out with. A lot a lot. It’s kind of a numbers game. Depending on your luck just as much as your likes, dislikes, personality, appearance and performance. Expect that only 1 person out of every 20+ people you talk to will want to talk to you, and that only one out of every 50+ will be a compatible kink friend. I’ve met literally hundreds of kink people, and in the end I actually met my daddy on OkCupid and we both luckily ended up being total freaks. Don’t get disheartened; I’m an attractive female with big tits and a filthy mind and it still took me 10 years of looking to find my match, so don’t try to rush it or lose hope. Just have fun, meet cool people and learn stuff along the way that you can use when you do find the one, or two, or three, however many ladies you’re looking for.

As for actually pleasing those ladies in a dominant fashion, your actual ability to fuck, particularly for a long time, is probably the least important aspect of the whole thing. Seriously. Here’s some things you can focus on that are wayyyyyy more important than penile stamina. Domination is not just about being rough and spankings and cuffs and stuff. You can try to dominate just the body, but that’s a really half assed, unfulfilling way of doing it. If you really want to dominate, pleasure and keep a kinky woman, here’s what you do:

Absolute rule number 1: ask her questions and LISTEN. Men think women are so mysterious, but here’s the thing; most men just don’t ask. Really want to get a woman wet and pliant and submissive? Start by asking about her hopes and dreams. What makes her smile first thing in the morning? What’s her favorite book, and WHY? Learn about her mind. Not just what she likes, but why. If you understand why then you can build a picture of her whole world. Then you have the power to ROCK the FUCK out of that world. Everything in her mind is connected, including sex. Get into her head before you get into her pussy. You don’t even need a dick to mind fuck someone.

Rule 2 is an elaboration on rule 1: always talk about sex before touching her in a sexual way. This isn’t just the basic talk about consent and rules, though. Ask what she likes, and why. Ask her how she touches herself. Put aside any personal insecurities or jealousy and have the balls to ask her about the best sex she’s ever had, you will learn something important. Maybe the best sex she ever had lasted for hours; don’t be disheartened!! Invest in sex toys. More on this soon. So, say you find out that the best sex she ever had was being tied up and forced to drink milk out of a saucer on the floor while being fucked from behind. Now, here’s the most important part of this: don’t try to replicate that experience, especially not right away. Distill the experience down and find the core element of what she likes. In this case, pet play kitty. Make your own version of that. Call her ‘kitty,’ and secretly treat her like she is one. Girls pick up on the subtle things, use your knowledge of her favorites to guide things that way.

Rule 3: get sex toys, and get the right ones. Most women I know, including myself, require additional clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. This is perfectly normal. Never expect to bring a woman to orgasm just with your dick. I have an absolutely amazing sex life with my daddy, who has a big amazing cock and can fuck me for a long time, but even with him I’ve never had an orgasm without clitoral stimulation. Get a vibrator, or if you’re at her place ask if she has one and wants to use it while you fuck her. You can even use it on her, tying her up and teasing her nipples and pussy with it until she’s begging to be fucked. If you don’t last long at fucking, DO NOT put your dick in a girl until she is already close to cumming. You can tease her indefinitely with toys and command her to suck your dick whenever you want, then only fuck her for like 20 seconds, finish her off with a dildo or fingers or vibrator or whatever, and at the end she has been completely dominated, satisfied, and your actual penis performance was unimportant. You both got what you wanted, just in a way that works for you.

Rule 4: AFTER CARE. After a long, intense scene ALWAYS comfort her, even if she doesn’t seem like she needs or wants it. After being dominated, a person doesn’t leave that headspace right away, so keep in mind for the first 10 minutes, maybe even more, that she’s basically coming down from an altered mental state. Tell her she’s a good girl, maybe give her a treat. For instance, my daddy gives me a gold star sticker on our wall for every load of his cum I take in my pussy, and we have other stickers for other accomplishments. Make sure she’s warm enough, have some water and maybe a small snack on hand, but don’t leave her for more than a minute if you can help it. Dominance doesn’t stop when sex ends. You started this, and now you finish it. Take care of your slut, show her she can be weak and vulnerable with you. These are really the moments you’re the most powerful, don’t abuse or neglect them. If you’re really good to her when she’s weak, she’s way more likely to submit to you even when she feels strong.

There’s so much more I could say on this topic, but these are the basics. Please feel free to come to me with more questions!

Good stuff straight from the source!

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