I was heartbroken when my girlfriend, Lauren, broke up with me. She’s such a sweet girl. I was desperate to get her back. I heard about a witch who enjoyed using her dark magic. I wasn’t sure if it was a joke. She had a reputation for not liking men but I was willing to take the risk.  

“Make your wish.” she told me, after I explained my situation.

“I wish Lauren still loved me.” I said.

“Your wish is granted.” she replied. “She will love you again… as her favorite teddy bear. You’re an inanimate object now, so you can’t move or talk. She will have no idea that you’re trapped inside of it.”

“Imagine how happy you will be when she takes the time to kiss you and hug you. She will move your arms, look into your plastic button-like eyes, and talk to you in her adorable baby voice. You will feel so loved by her in those moments.”

“Of course, she’s not attracted to you. She’s not attracted to inanimate objects. She has sexual needs that can only be fulfilled by a man. You will have a place on her bed when it’s made but you will be thrown to the floor when she has passionate sex with her good looking boyfriend. She’s a beautiful woman, so be prepared to hear her getting pounded by a big dick almost every night whenever she’s home.”


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