- Can’t get your partner off on the first try? Cool. You can still be thoughtful and make them feel good.
- Can get your partner off within 30 seconds? Awesome, good for you both, don’t let it get to your head.
- Can make someone cum in less than 5, but for others, it’s a process that takes an hour? That’s alright, everyone’s different.
- Does it take you 30 minutes to cum? That’s okay, you’re not broken, you’re not a failure.
- Does it take you 10 seconds to cum? That’s great, you’re not a slut, you’re not overly sensitive or dirty.
- Can’t cum without toys/vibrators? That’s awesome, that’s a valid part of sexual play!
- Can only cum with loving, vanilla sex? That’s perfectly normal, and you will find lots of great partners to experience that with!
- Can’t orgasm at all? THAT’S ALSO COOL. It’s not a bad thing, you can still enjoy sex TONNES just like others.
Orgasms are NOT the defining characteristic of your sexual prowess. They are great, they’re lovely when they happen, but for the love of science, stop bringing them up higher than they need to be.
Its important to keep this in mind when insecurities get the better of you. Even I need to take a moment too reflect on this.
I have anorgasmia, and I can verify that you can have mind blowingly fulfilling sexual experiences without reaching orgasm. Also, my phone refuses to suggest orgasm as a word.